Dear Blog,
Every day I spend at least a few moments out in public, walking around campus among my fellow students. I don't have to walk very far most days but I still manage to see a decent amount of students during that time. One thing I've noticed and want to talk about tonight is how "shelter" or closed off everyone seems to be while walking from class to class. Regardless of where I'm headed I always see a handful of people on their cell phones, others are taking different routes to avoid social interaction and most of them try their best to avoid eye contact. Personally, I try to stay off my cell phone when I'm in transit so I can observe the world around me. I started doing this because I realized how much I'm missing out on by burying my face into that little device. The less I viewed my phone and the more I started observing people and the environment the more I started to actually think about what's happening around me. I started thinking about who these people are and what stories their lives hold.
You'll typically pass by 10-15 people minimum on your walks through campus, depending on the day. Each one of those 10-15 people have their own life, worries, concerns and dreams. The blonde haired girl that just rushed passed you is probably late to class and stressed about how much homework she has to do tonight. The guy who took his phone out as soon as you made eye contact with him is probably trying to avoid social interaction or felt awkward about making eye contact. So many different stories walk past us every day but how often do we actually take time to learn what these stories are or at least consider these people's stories when thinking about our own lives?
As I look around campus and at all of these people's faces, I ask myself, "Why am I nervous at the thought of talking to these people? What's the worst that could happen?". In my experience, this has been the case most of the time I want to talk to someone in public. Whether it be a cute girl or some random guy that has a cool shirt that I want to compliment, my heart starts to race and I get tongue-tied. This doesn't happen all the time but it happens more often than I'd like; and I feel like I'm not the only person that has this feeling. But, as a social animal, why does this happen? From a behavioral point of view it is clearly the result of some form of punishment. In our history of being social we've experienced the social awkwardness that is talking to strangers, something that is very punishing to most people. Not only this, but society has made talking to strangers seem like a taboo of sorts. People find it strange to talk to strangers and punish those who consider it. We've learned from this and we typically try our best to avoid that punishment (avoidance). The more I consider these issues the more I realize that this isn't something one person can change in their life and that it's more of a group effort. An "it takes two to tango" sort of deal. Unfortunately with the way technology is advancing, I don't see this changing anytime soon.
Best Regards,
Josh
You make a good point. I've noticed this in my life as well and I make a constant effort to engage with my soundings and talk to new people. I also try (key word, try) to not look at my phone when I'm with people in an effort to live in the moment and be engaged. Technology has definitely given people an easy way out of engaging with people. And a lot of people probably don't even realize that they are being anti social when they are constantly on their phones. "I'm on social media, so therefore I'm being social, right?". But the real beauty in life is being able to interact with others, have new experiences, and feel real emotions. These things are much more fulfilling than 30 likes and 22 comments on facebook.
ReplyDelete